Pioneer Woman

by - Monday, December 29, 2008

Whenever I come home, I feel like I have entered the 1800's... the days of the pioneers. You all laugh, but all my Facebook updates have been lately are me contemplating my early death waiting for the internet to load my pages.

Because folks, you guessed it... my mom has dial-up internet. Yes... they still allow people to sign up for that shit. I decided earlier that I would rather have open heart surgery without any anaesthetic than suffer through the pains of bidding on something on eBay. I am dreading the web check-in for my flight home. I managed to snag an aisle seat in the emergency exit row coming here... at the rate I can get to website here I will be lucky if they don't shove me in the bathroom on the way back. This, my dear friends, is why I haven't sent e-mails, commented on the cute pictures of your children on Facebook, or checked my online dating messages. Life as I know it has come to an end for at least the next few days.

This is in addition to the fact that you have to use a key to unlock the doors on both my parents cars. Which, when you are leaving a friends house in the middle of the night after a roaring night of playing cards, is hard to do in the dark. I mean seriously... a key?

And... I haven't had a hot shower since I got here. The little people that heat the water outside on the fire must have been given the Christmas break off. I can't get anyone in my house to confirm that there are indeed little people that do this, but seriously - you can't tell me that they suffer through lukewarm showers and baths all year long. It must just be when I get home - kind of a ploy to wake me up when I step in.

I don't want to forget that of the three Tim Hortons in this town... only one is a drive thru (although luckily it is the closest one to me). Seriously... not to mention there is only one Starbucks and it is mysteriously landlocked between two other stores without a take-out window in sight. Pathetic I say.

That said, my holidays are going well. I mean, when my biggest concern is whether or not I can get through two chapters of a book before having a nap (I am dead serious), you know it is a good vacation. And the family part (the part where I kick my moms butt in board games daily) is pretty good too.

You May Also Like


  1. Ew dial-up is so hard to deal with - my computer is already too slow for me, I couldn't imagine going bck to that!

    This strikes me as ridiculously funny - my word verification is kable ...I'm not making that up