My Relationship Needs

by - Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Usually I don't really give a rat's ass about personality tests, compatibility tests, etc. I know that I am a Type A, sometime pain-in-the-butt person and really - taking a test would just confirm that I already know this.

But... I just took Plenty of Fish's Needs Assessment quiz - basically I am bored and thought... why the hell not?

Here are my needs...

You need someone who reciprocates a strong feeling of attachment to a partner but who also respects and copes well with the fact that you benefit from a reasonable level of physical and psychological space at times.

You need someone who will understand and accept a slow pace for emotional intimacy with you and provide frequent reassurance of their feelings and intentions as the relationship is taken to progressive levels.

Self-Efficacy (this refers to self-image, stability of moods and level of motivation apparently... I forgot my PhD in Psychology in my other pants and had to look this up...)
You need a partner who has a good degree of energy, enthusiasm and self-efficacy like you, as opposed to a partner who needs constant nurturing and reassurance to feel empowered and valued as person.

Relationship Readiness
You need someone who wants a relationship, rather than needs one to feel personally fulfilled.

You need someone who will not put up emotional barriers when you seek to understand his/her thoughts and feelings, but rather will communicate with you intimately and candidly.

Conflict Resolution
You need someone who will join you in taking time to find a complete and genuine resolution to issues as opposed to avoiding conflict by settling for quick, temporary agreements.

You need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates being the center of attention in the bedroom.

Attitudes Toward Love
You need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship.

Preferred Expressions of Affection
You need someone who can show affection in ways other than just spending time with you – such as talking at home, taking leisurely strolls outside or extended road trips.

For a 100 question quiz... this is surprisingly close to how I think I am. Now if only POF would turn me out a good guy, and not just analyze what I need and want in a relationship... I would call that a success.

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  1. Thanking you for leading me to a quiz that I can do this morning as opposed to work.

  2. I did that test too, and while it all seemed pretty true, it also seemed pretty generic so I'm not sure how I feel about it.

    PS - I mentioned you on my blog today

  3. I am so terrible at taking standardized tests that even when it is about my personality I get it wrong. Oh well.