When I Grow Up...

I think I would be perfect for a job in radio.

You see... radio is a perfect medium in which you can be witty and fun and amazing, but you don't have to go in front of a camera.

Except for still ads... and they can photoshop the extra forty ten pounds off of me.

I am hilarious. Even my facebook updates* make people spew orange juice (and now pop so I am told) out of their noses when read.

While I don't think I will ever be able to pull off the wittiness of say... J-Money (you must follow this girl on Twitter... I just about pee myself reading her updates)... I really think that I could make it on the radio.

You guys should just imagine what goes through my head all day. It is like there is a hamster on speed in there. It doesn't stop - the only crap part is that I think so much and so fast that only like 2% of it ever gets noticed in the real world (that is out of my head... hey - does anyone remember Herman's Head? I loved that show... except the chick with the annoying voice - who is coincidentally the voice of Lisa Simpson). I think I even think in parenthesis sometimes. And I definitely use my infamous "..." in my head... that is the only time the hamsters are quiet - it is like they are taking a break.

So - any cool radio stations wanna hire me? I mean - I have no training, but I am funny! Really!

*Update in question: Carmen is pretty sure the Bachelor is going to hell... he cried more than a chick losing her virginity on prom night...