It's Not Too Much to Ask...

by - Thursday, January 29, 2009

I have been inspired by Notes for Potential Suitor... and while I don't have the patience to keep up another blog like Lisa is doing... I like the idea of putting to paper some things that I want in a man/relationship*.

1. I need time alone (read: time away from you)... sometimes more alone time than together time. The tough part is, I probably won't tell you when I want to be alone and when I want to be with you because I expect you to be somewhat of a mind reader. So - have your own friends. Hang out with them. Play poker, watch UFC, go to strip clubs (look, don't touch!)... do whatever it is that boys do when they are together... I will expect the same level of trust and free reign though.

2. You must enjoy hockey. And that may entail us getting seasons tickets at one time or another in our lifetime together. And if you do not enjoy hockey as much as I do, I will try to appease you by feigning interest in a sport that you like that I am not particularly fond of. Except football. I am sorry but I just cannot do football. If you play hockey you get bonus points. Because I am lame and I would love to go and watch you play, while I sit in the stands contemplating the finer points of arena heating systems as all my bodily functions begin to shut down due to excessive frostbite.

3. We will enjoy going grocery shopping together. Better yet, if I say we are out of milk, you will volunteer to go to the store and get some. But most of all, we will enjoy wandering the outer skirts of the grocery store together (because of course, that is where the healthier food is) and perhaps as a treat I will let you buy the Count Chocula cereal so we can eat it together like dessert.

4. Stuff. You can't have too much of it. And by that I mean a) no Star Wars figurines, b) no comic books, c) no Star Trek outfits... well, you get my drift. While hobbies are nice, I would like to think that I would spend more time with you than you would with your Princess Leia doll. And about the comics thing... while I don't mind seeing movies based on comic characters (because really... Hugh Jackman is hot at Wolverine in X-Men), it doesn't mean that you can expect me to contribute to a conversation of how the movie deviated from the comic... blah, blah, blah. In return I will not have a lot of stuff either... except of course for my Trevor Linden/Canucks memorabilia (and if anyone mentions a double standard here I will seriously hurt them).

5. PDA. I am not so keen on it. That doesn't mean I don't like it... but it means that holding hands in public is good, and making out in public is bad. I just don't do PDA all that well... my lack of confidence may play into it... or maybe I would just like cuddle you on the couch while watching a movie in private. Cause really - if things start to heat up at home we can do something about it... if you get what I mean (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

6. Finances... dude - you have to have your shit together. This doesn't mean I want (or expect - although it would be might nice) a sugar daddy... this means you pay your bills on time. It means that you don't have craploads of debt. This lends itself to a variety of things... a) I like travelling (I will get to more of that later)... and travelling costs money, b) I don't want to have to lend you money for your rent/car payment/coffee all the damn time and c) a fiscally responsible man is sexy.

7. Travelling is good. Very good. And I don't mean just the all inclusive resort kind of travelling (cause as a matter of fact I have done that and find it kinda boring)... I mean the kind of travelling where we will perhaps stay in hostels and have to wash our clothes in the sink and hang them to dry. Because, seriously... I plan of visiting the following countries before I die (and it would be nice to do it with you): Ireland, Scotland, Greece, Croatia, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and Mexico. OK... the Mexico trip we can do as an all inclusive... as long as we can visit some sort of Mayan ruin on a day trip. Oh, and I really, really want to go to Disneyland as an adult. If we can swing it on either of our birthdays one of us can get in free.

8. The "I" word. Initiative. You must possess it. That means that you have both book smarts and street smarts, and you are using both kinds of smarts to get further in the world. I value a higher education, but it doesn't have to come in the form of a PhD. Hell... plumbers make a hell of a lot more money than I probably ever will and that is two years of college. Having initiative in the workplace will hopefully translate into initiative in your regular life (you don't know how hard it was for me not to type "in the bedroom" there)... meaning that sometimes I need a kick in the butt to get going on some things. That said, you must expect a kick back every once in awhile.

9. Now... in the looks department - I don't expect a supermodel (as a matter of fact, both male supermodels and metrosexual men scare the living shit out of me)... but I do expect that proper grooming techniques be in place. Regular hair cuts, shaving, showering... you know... the normal stuff. And, as I have mentioned before... I like my dudes taller than me, so unless we meet (and you are shorter than me) and become the inseparable kind of friends that eventually forge a relationship, I probably won't look twice at someone that is under 5'11" (actually I lie... there is a very good chance I will look, oogle and then turn my head in shame as I realize that I am closely related to the Amazon woman and that you resemble a midget)... it isn't you... it is me on this one. I just can't do this (oh, and if you are willing to sit through Sixteen Candles when it is on TV, that would be great too!) : 10. Compatibility is key... I often read on the online dating profiles something along the lines of "finding someone to complete me"... which I think is a load of duck turd. I am a complete person already... I am looking for a compatible person to complement me.

Is this too much to ask?

* This of course is obviously in addition to the 'regular' things one needs in a relationship - honesty, passion, humour, intelligence, acceptance, tolerance, faithfulness, communication... you know, the 'regular' stuff.

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  1. nothing is too much to ask. whatever you want is attainable and you should have everything! Putting it into the universe is a great start!

    I met my manfriend online and I use to be all pfffft love, and now I'm like those e-harmony commercials. Never thought Id be all goofey in love like I'm in high school! Just hold out for all you want!!!!!!! you CAN have it all!

  2. #1 and #2 are so dead on to my needs it's scary!

  3. if you find one that fits this profile (except the stuff clause ... i am cool with stuff ... because he would have to tolerate growing my hello kitty fixation), please clone and send east.

  4. Excellent list! And I think it is a great idea to blog all this sort of stuff (mostly so I can read it).

  5. Anonymous5:22 PM

    hahah, i'm so with you on, uh, 1-10.

    you're perfection, and clearly it isn't too much to ask.