A Magic Disappointment

by - Tuesday, July 03, 2012

I'd been looking forward to watching Magic Mike for a couple of weeks.  I even went and bought tickets early... since I was hearing that it was selling out around town (and by town, I mean city of 1,100,000 people with multiple theatres).

I was excited for this...

Sadly, not all of the six-packs in the world could make the movie enjoyable.

Here is my review (originally posted on Twitter, but now with a bit more wit that I couldn't originally fit into 140 characters):

1) There were too many boobs (we didn't even get through the opening scene without boobs.  I did not order boobs!).
2) Matthew McConaughey's nipples are positioned too close to his collar bones.  Trust me - there were some odd proportions going on there.  It's like he had a chest lift that raised the position of his nipples.
3) A plot?  This movie wasn't supposed to have a plot.  It was supposed to be about male strippers.  The plot just got in the way.
4) If you've acted in CSI Miami, you should not be cast in a stripper movie.
5) Joe Manganiello was the definition of AWKWARD.  The man has a nice body, but he should just stick to being a werewolf.  Dancing is not his thing.
6) Alex Pettyfur should've just stuck with his English accent.  Because his American accent was just... wrong.
7) Penis pumps are nasty. Especially when they take up practically the whole screen. Ew.

In all, the movie kind of sucked.  Was I expecting an Oscar winner? No.  But as soon as the "plot" was introduced... the movie kind of fell apart.  And by fell apart, I mean there was less naked Channing Tatum and more naked Matthew McConaughey.

And nobody really needs that.

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  1. Anonymous7:20 AM

    You said everything I ever wanted to saw about this movie! I couldn't stay awake in the non-stripping scenes.

    The acting was just... awful! I feel like they were given a scene idea and told to wing the lines and make it up as they went.

    I will be downloading the stripping scenes only when it comes to dvd.

  2. i think the reason i loved this so much was i went opening night with a bunch of girlfriends after martinis, and the entire theater was abuzz with screams and clapping and mayhem!! if it were a quiet movie it probably would've gotten boring, but it really was like we were at a male revue at my showing!!

    but channing? he can move. i am not even a fan, but good godfrey!!