Self Checkout Woes

by - Monday, March 18, 2013

When I'm rich, I'm going to open an invite-only grocery store.

Kind of like Costco, but better. No fees and you'll be surrounded by people just like you.

There will be a test to get invited. You'll need to come to my pre-screening grocery store, do your shopping like usual. To pass the test you'll need to checkout using the self checkout lane, and if I don't feel like punching you as you scan your groceries, you'll get an invite to my fancy invite-only grocery store.

If you fail the test, a hole will open in the floor and you will be banished to hell*.

The goal of my invite-only grocery store won't be to make money. It will just be a place for people that know how to use the self checkout lane. A reward for common sense really.

Where shopping, and paying for your groceries will be a wonderful, calm experience.

*Hell is where I was on the way home when I was behind someone in the Tim Hortons drive-thru lane that ordered $44.55 worth of crap. It took her forever to order and she asked what soups they had today no less than four times. If being behind that woman isn't the definition of hell, I don't want to know what is.

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  1. HAAAA! This post literally made me laugh out loud. Can't wait for your invite-only grocery store to open :)

  2. id totally apply for membership!! however, I am not a fan of the self check out, for that reason. there is one store here, that has 6 self check out lanes, and if you are lucky, 1 actual cashier. I stopped shopping there. Because people are too idiotic to keep it moving smoothly.