What Did I Do?

by - Monday, April 16, 2007

To deserve all of this?? Now my ex is asking for $20,000 WHEN I sell the house - so that I don't have to come up with the money now. Do I want to be tied to him for the rest of my life? Not really (okay not at all)... is this a good deal... who knows? Here is my pro/con list for this scenario:

- I don't have to come up with any money up front, meaning I won't have to re-mortgage.
- I could never sell the house and never have to pay $20,000.
- I am tied to my ex for as long as I own the home.
- Can you really make a deal like this? Probably not - but I will ask the lawyer on Wednesday.

Here is my idea... but it only works if the bank will re-mortgage me... I re-mortgage an extra $15,000 (which will probably be $20,000 with penalties) and give him the money now... here are the pro's and con's...

- My ex will be GONE... well except for the final divorce part.
- My house is my house again.
- I will have to re-finance (if the bank lets me) over a longer period of time and my payments will go up about $25-$50 per week.
- I don't know if my ex would go for this as it is $5000 less that what he thinks is a "fair" amount, but it does allow for the money up front instead of waiting for it - as Jenn put it he would be stupid not to take it... but we have proved on numerous occasions that my ex and stupid definitely belong in the same sentence.

I don't even know if I can get re-financed... I have called my lady at the bank (I am starting to sound like Jen's mom... my "lady")... to see if it is possible and what the penalty would be. I still also have to meet with the lawyer to see if my ex can even do this... like how legally binding is the separation agreement? He is claiming duress... I hate to break it to you buddy, but there was no pressure put on by me to get you to sign the papers. Not thinking things through is not duress - it is stupidity.

Duress has been defined as a "threat of harm made to compel a person to do something against his or her will or judgment; esp., a wrongful threat made by one person to compel a manifestation of seeming assent by another person to a transaction without real volition." - Black's Law Dictionary (8th ed. 2004).

Black's Law Dictionary (6th ed.) defines duress as "any unlawful threat or coercion used... to induce another to act [or not act] in a manner [they] otherwise would not [or would]."

In the end, I do realize that either $15,000 or $20,000 is a good deal (as mad and upset as I am ab out this I do also have logic, education and general smarts), as the law states that family property is to be split 50/50 and I am getting the larger share - that said the market could crash and my house could be worth squat in 10 years...

I wish I could stop thinking about this stuff... I have called to make an appointment with a counsellor (we get them free through work - but they are off site) and hopefully that helps a little bit. Okay - I know that I am kind of needy right now - but they just offered me a May 12 appointment to see a counsellor... ummm... I think that I am having issues NOW... May 12 seems like a lifetime away!! Then she offered me May 1 - hopefully I can not jump off the deep end before then!

Damn - I just got a call from one of the lawyers offices and there is a conflict - my ex saw them over ten years ago about an ICBC claim... so I won't be able to use them. Hopefully the lawyer that I am meeting with on Wednesday is good and he is a shyster... I have called another large legal company so maybe I can get in to see them sometime this week as well...

Okay - this post is long enough... and I have to get back to work... oh - and GO CATS GO!

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  1. Oh no...say it isn't so!!! My beloved Giants will be facing your beloved Cougars in the next round of the playoffs. My son just told me the awful news....
    At least the Canucks won last night...woooohooo. Poor Karen - her Flames have just about died...
    C ya!

  2. If you do a refi-the interest and points are all tax deductable if you are in the US. worth an extra 25 bucks in my book to be rid of something that is a negative to you.

    PS Allison said to harrass you if the Wings go up against you in the playoffs (she is kidding I think)
    The home games are NOT selling out here which is insane as all year long there is a waiting list. Maybe everyone in Michigan is broke.

    Wishing you luck and hope things go well for you house wise. Jan in MIchigan