My Online Dating Lament

by - Monday, September 22, 2008

I am fairly certain that 30-something single females should not work in post-secondary. I spend half my day wishing I was 19 again so that I could actually see myself dating some of the students, and the other half reminiscing about how wonderful my time at University was… needless to say, between that and blogging I don’t have a lot of time to actually work.

But this post isn’t about the fact that I fuck the dog at work shouldn’t be spending my day off in la-la-land… it is about my take on the popular dating sites. Here goes my unabridged look at the world of online dating.
- Other than to really see your profile and smiling, you need to pay to use many of the services (sending e-mails, im’ing) so I figure many of the people are actually serious about this.
- You can do searches, and see when people who smiled at you are online.
- The ability to ‘hotlist’ people – which means that you can stalk them without actually smiling at them… I may or may not do this on a regular basis.
- Even though you specifically write in your profile that you would prefer an e-mail to an IM… you still get guys from random countries in Africa, and 55-year-old men from Canada IM’ing you on a regular basis.
- You can’t limit the age range of the people who contact you, nor can you specify that they are in a certain geographical area
- Scenario… guy smiles at you… you smile back at guy… and wait… because guy is too cheap to pay for the credits needed to send you an e-mail. You break down and use six credits to mail him and he half-heartedly replies. Don’t smile if you aren’t at least willing to communicate a bit!

Plenty of Fish
- It is 100% free
- You can put limiters on who can contact you (age, distance, smoker, relationship type and best of all – you can limit those who have contacted others for sex/intimate encounters).
- It is one of the most popular dating sites – theoretically that means that there should be a bigger selection of eligible men.
- There is a section where you can see the people who have viewed you… if they have that feature enabled that is.
- It is 100% free… so that means a lot of “nice tits” e-mails. Not so appealing.
- There is no way of stock-piling guys without them knowing it… in POF you have to add the guys to your favorites which means they know you have done it… much harder to stalk…
- As with all the sites… there are a bunch of guys out there that I think are looking for the “perfect girl”… not the perfect girl for them… which means you see the same guy all the time, and they are lamenting that they will never find the right girl.

- I haven’t really figured out any yet
- Dr. Neil Clark Warren (the brains behind eHarmony) is ripping me off… trust me – the real thing is NOTHING like the commercials…

There are other site out there..., - my favorite is's (or maybe it's e-mails about "6 Men in my Neighbourhood"... yeah - if my neighbourhood includes Billings, Montana... umm - a little far. Needless to say I disabled my accounts with those two sites.

In all... online dating can suck my proverbial ass... all it has done is lead me towards some very creepy men. Will I stop doing it? Nah... I need a good laugh every once in awhile.

You May Also Like


  1. Yeah, there are some real winners out there in the online world, but I'll be the first to tell you that there are some keepers too! I've been married to someone for over six years that I met online, so you just never know. Of course, I dated a bunch of frogs before he showed up too! lol Good luck!

  2. Anonymous8:36 PM

    You'll never find any pros to E Harmony. They should rename it E Voldemort, the site sucks that badly.

  3. ok the voldemort comment was very funny - sad that I get it - am I too old for harry potter? - but very funny nonetheless

    I would also like to sign up for the dog humping jobs - and now that I wrote that - I've changed my mind :) Alright - back to Jon and Kate plus 8

  4. This was absolutely brilliant.

    Have you read my latest updates with online? It's TERRIBLE