Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don't...

by - Monday, February 23, 2009

I have previously mentioned bootie call boy... but to recap for you newbies (or those just just don't/care not to remember)... we met back when I lived in BC, we got together for a week while he was there for work, got together a couple of times before I moved here when I came to visit friends, and have hooked up a few times since I moved here.

Nothing even close to regular... and nothing recently.

Because I have decided that I am just not a bootie call kind of girl. Well, I kinda already knew that - but I was testing the waters I guess.

It isn't that I don't like sex. Because I do (and trust me - there was a time I didn't... but we won't go into how sorry I feel for my ex's new wife... poor girl...). It is just that I want more. I want to wake up next to the guy... share my deepest feeling with the guy... I want a relationship - and all the good, the bad and the ugly that comes with one.

But I don't want one with bootie call boy (nor does he want one with me - at least I hope not!)... but he isn't really getting the point.

I used to take 'breaks' from him by blocking him on my MSN and then if I felt like talking to him, I would unblock him. He never seemed to notice one way or another...

His IM's usually begin with something along the lines of "I'm horny". Meh. I am so over that. How about a hello?

When I was home a couple of weeks ago, he sent me a message... and I replied that I was out of town and that my step-dad was sick... he said he was sorry to hear it and then I logged off because I didn't feel like talking.

When I got back from BC, I got an IM (that for all of your sakes I will not repeat) and I said I wasn't in the mood because my step- dad had just passed. He said he was sorry to hear that, and then proceeded to tell me what he wanted to do to me.

Totally uncool right? Right.

Well... since then I have blocked him from my MSN, and I am thinking of removing him all together... because he just isn't getting it.

In the past week, he has sent me two messages through Lavalife (which means he had to pay to use his credits - I guess he recognized my profile picture while trolling for women - a total waste of money in my books), two private messages on Facebook, and two e-mail messages - none of which I have replied to.

Because really... I need more, I deserve more, and I am going to get more. One day. Soon. I hope.

And I am tired of feeling like a whore.

I seriously think he should read the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and replace all the he's with she's... or maybe I should read the book and try out some of the "moves" on him.


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  1. Anonymous8:57 AM

    I've found that sometimes with men I have to be super direct and tell them straight up to leave me alone.

    He sounds like an ass. I'd so delete him and tell him to stop because he isn't getting it!

  2. Good for you! I had this same scenerio for about 6 months, and after a while, I was the same way, like, you cant drive 15 minutes to come see ME in the middle of the night? And I wanted more. It was fun for a while, I think something everyone does at one point!

    If you want it all, you will find it all!

  3. There's the good bootie call guys (who you can actually talk to and hang out with - like a friend with benefits) and there's the bad bootie call guys...like this guy.

  4. Anonymous6:03 PM

    I think you summed it up with "meh," "arg," and "totally uncool right?" Go directly to block- do not pass go- do not collect $200.

  5. He definately sounds like an ass. I say tell him to piss off because he clearly isn't getting the message otherwise.

    You definately deserve better.

  6. All men should at least go see the movie version of "He's Just Not That Into You" because maybe then they will see how ridiculous they are.

    Wait a minute--this is men we're talking about. Not a chance in hell of that happening.

    Be firm. Be direct. Especially if you are sure he's not what you want in your life right now.

  7. Haha, oh BOY! You don't just have a booty call in this boy, you have a booty call stalker!
    Which therefore means you're doing something right, har, but in the same sense, if you're over it, tell him so.
    And then delete him.
    You'll find the sex and the love soon enough.
    Because you are stellar. And deserve BOTH.

  8. And I am tired of feeling like a whore.

    You're brave for writing that sentence. I think most of us women have felt that way at some point.

    I know I sure have.

    Good for you for blocking his ass. He'll get the message eventually.

    I'm so glad I found you!

  9. Keep in mind that this is the culture of your relationship with him and he's just acting in a manner pursuant to that culture (that doesn't mean he's not an idiot). Maybe you never made sharing your emotions with him part of that culture. So when you say something emotionally significant like your step-dad passed it's not all that surprising that it just doesn't register with him. Unfortunately, subtly conveying to him that you want to call it quits probably won't register either.