A Day in the Life...

by - Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Throughout the day I have may conversations that go somewhat like this:

Student: "So, I got a letter in the mail."
Me: "You got a letter - so, did you read it?"
Student: "Well, kinda."
Me: "Well, what did it say?"
Student: "Something about something... you know..."
Me (in my head): "Well, yeah dumbass - I know that it probably said something about something... we aren't in the business of mailing letters about nothing... but honestly - what the fuck do you supposedly know?"
Me (aloud): "Perhaps you should read the letter, follow the instructions, and get back to me if you have questions."
Student: {blank stare}

The millennial generation*... what they can't (or won't) do for themselves... they want everyone else to do for them.

Here is another one...

Student: "I need an easy class."
Me (in my head): "If one more person asks me this question I am going to take their head and bash it against the fucking wall until blood pours out of their eyes."
Me (aloud): "Try picking something you are interested in... you will do better if you like the topic."
Student: {cue the crickets}
Me (in my head): "For fucks sake... do I have to do everything for you?"

Then it becomes kind of like one of those "Choose Your Own Adventure" stories you read in elementary school...

Option #1
Me (aloud): "Do you want to know what I took?"
Student: "Yeah..."
Me: "Chemistry and physics... and then a bit more chemistry..."**
Student: {cue the crickets}

Option #2
Student: "Well... do you have any ideas for easy courses... my friend said there are easy courses..."
Me (in my head): "Well, if your friend jumped off a bridge would you promise to follow them?"
Me (aloud): "Look kid... you are never going to get anywhere in life choosing the easy route... so you better just deal with the fact that some things are harder than others."***
Student: {cue the tears}

And that my friends, is how you make a student cry tear up.

* Sorry if I have offended any of my millennial blogger friends - I am sure you are nothing like the dolts I deal with on a regular basis...
** Yeah - call me crazy... but I have a business degree and I took sciences as electives...
*** Let's face it - said student is like 19 years old. If I am not the first person to give them this lecture it was long overdue. They should have learned this fact in kindergarten... right after they learned not to eat paste.

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  1. my good friend teaches at the university and has very similar stories. It's pretty frightening!

  2. Yes--that sounds like students. Students are the same the world over.

  3. Ohh Ohhh!! I know this tune!! Can I sing along!

    I loved the "easy class" question. I got so sarcastic that I'd reach out to my books and say, "oh yes, let me just look that up on my list of slack-off specialty courses..."

    Then, like you, I would say that in my opinion, Finite Mathematics was one of the easiest courses I ever took. In fact, I aced a test in it once.

    Of course, I am a math wiz so that might bias things a bit.

  4. I'm torn here Carmen, in most ways I feel ya. That stupid quote "there are no stupid questions" is wrong there are stupid questions - such as "What classes are easy." (I was a physics major with a film minor; I highly suggest quantum or a nice quiet seminar in string theory)

    As a student I often find it so frustrating trying to jump through hoops for administrative purposes with all the red tape and rules and regulations that by the time I'm through with my circus performance plus the work for my classes I'm hoping that someone will make any decision they can for me just so I can stop thinking so hard. Not that that is an excuse to be annoying and stupid.

    Sorry about my essay - i greatly hate the bureaucratic nonsense.

  5. My answers always put the work back on them - but I love #2.

    I'm always sending them to look at texts, talk to profs, and hunt down outlines. The amount of work to research a GPA booster class could be worth it, but they hate the homework.
    I'm sure as hell not going to decide for them and take the blame for that too...

  6. Anonymous3:14 PM

    Hehe ... Finite mathematics... That was the one where the calendar description started with "a rigorous introduction to calculus ..." Uh, ya, sign me up for that one ... I always suggested that they try doing a honour thesis - no class to attend, but oh, there is a bit longer of a paper to write than the average class ... Yup, gotta love the easy class suggestions.

  7. I'd recommend Rocks for Jocks and Scopes for Dopes...people are so ridiculous.

    Can I coast through life too? Please?

  8. ...right after they learned not to eat paste.

    Yeah... I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say they still keep a stick of Elmer's in the bedstand. Some people never learn...