Hopeless
Geez. My blog titles are really uplifting these days!
I suffer from a chronic back condition - three degenerating discs in my lower back. Most recently (like a couple of years ago), the physical manifestations of the disease was actually numbness, not pain - as I was recovering from my broken ankle, and getting ready to head to Iceland, my left leg was numb. All the time. Which is weird, but, luckily for me, not painful.
Recently, the manifestation of the disease is pain. Sciatica in my lower back that is some of the worst pain I've ever been in during my 40 years on earth. I haven't been able to stand up straight in a week, and I've had to miss work because I can't physically sit through the pain.
My new-to-me chiropractor, whom I've become best friends with this week, having dropped $350 to see, seems great. I know this will take time to heal, but the techniques he's using (more active release than manipulation at this time because I'm in so much pain) brought me to tears today.
Partially because of the pain that he causes during the treatment. But I know that he has to get deep in the muscles to try and release the pressure to allow my stupid degenerating discs from squeezing the everloving hell out of my sciatic nerve.
But also because I'm exhausted. Being in pain for a week, to to point that you can't really do anything (think sitting on a toilet, sneezing, getting in and out of a car, sleeping, sitting, walking - basically anything but laying in bed), is mentally exhausting.
So.. today I decided to stop being some kind of pain martyr. I went to a walk-in clinic, and was seen by a seemingly competent doctor (these are often hard to come by at walk-in clinics). He prescribed a new fancy pain med (and provided me a coverage card even though I have a pretty good extended health plan) and a high powered muscle relaxant. He also gave me a couple of samples of a medicated rub to help with the pain and inflammation.
I'm hoping I can make it through this long weekend without too much pain. Daily, after my treatments, I've been seeing progress, but every morning as I wake up, I seem to revert back to square one.
Fingers crossed I'm on the mend. Cause if not, my next step is to just cut my body off at the neck, and hire someone to carry my head around on a fancy platter.
That's not weird or anything.
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